I’ve thought about this article a lot. The idea for this first popped into my mind at the end of my junior year last year. I’ve hypothetically written this article countless times in my head, but I could never figure out how to start it. I always told myself I had time to figure it out, after all, the end of senior year was always so far away. But now it’s not. It’s finally here, and I’m still unsure of what to do.
I believe this weirdly mirrors a lot of other people’s experiences regarding the transition from high school to essentially adulthood. I’ve also been thinking about this a lot too, the end of high school and the beginning of adulthood and real-world responsibilities. I’ve spent all of my time since age 8 thinking and planning my future. Adults always praised me for this, so I kept fixating on it. I regret this now. As cliché as it sounds, I spent so much time focusing on things that haven’t even happened yet that I forgot to stop and smell the roses.
So, I want to stop and do that now. I want to think about all the beautiful things that have happened in my life since high school, and school in general began. I’m grateful that I moved here in 2013. If I hadn’t moved here, I would’ve never had the life that I do now – and that thought is genuinely terrifying to me.
I’m grateful to my first friend after moving here, for privacy reasons I’ll only refer to them as B. Before moving to Calvert, I had a lot happening in my life and the added stress of moving to a new place was a bit unbearable. I had no intention of making any friends when I began school here, but B changed that for me. They welcomed me with open arms and marked the course of the rest of my life. They taught me that the smallest thing can completely change your life path, and sometimes it’s for the better.
The next influential person in my life was K who I met that same year. They were my first (ever) best friend and made me realize that no matter what, there will always be someone else out there in the world with the same interests as you. You’re not “weird” or anything, you’re perfectly you and normal, and that’s great. But as sad as it is, I forget about K’s and I’s friendship a lot, after all, we drifted apart so long ago. But no matter what, I’ll always be grateful for them and our time as friends.
Next, I want to talk about L and O, two incredible people who show the different sides of the same coin. I met O first when I moved here and a year later met L too. However, I didn’t become truly close to either of them until the year that I met L. These two have been the truest of my friendships and I will always be so incredibly thankful for them.
I’m not really sure when exactly O and I drifted apart, it just kind of happened at some point. It wasn’t with any hate or malice, we just drifted. We both, assuming O did too, didn’t notice it until it happened. But L and I have been close almost all of us knowing each other. They’ve been my rock for what feels like forever now and I love them so much. I know we’ll drift after we graduate, it’s inevitable at this point. This upset me deeply, especially because there’s nothing I can do about it. But because of this fact, it being inevitable, I’ve decided to accept it. Our friendship has run its course, I can only hope we’ll remain close after graduation, but you never know.
My friendships with O and L were very different but again represent different sides of a single coin. At their roots, they’re both pure childhood friendships, but with O, our friendship drifted without either of us knowing (or possibly caring). L and I’s friendship, though I technically cannot say for certainty because it hasn’t happened yet, will end because of the transition in life. It made me realize that the most important person in your life in a single moment may not even remember who you are a year from then. Both are tragically beautiful in their own ways, and I will always cherish the time we spent together.
Next, I met D and U, these two were crazily different. I met D a year earlier than when I met U, but we instantly became close. However, when U and I met, it wasn’t exactly under the best circumstances. D taught me that I don’t always have to be the caring one in the friendship, it’s okay to rely on others at times. Alternatively, U taught me that there will be people in life who are not good at heart and don’t have good intentions; they’ll only use you as a tool. These two were essentially yin and yang to one another but were also strangely friends. I’m still friends with D and do not speak to U anymore for obvious reasons. But even though U and I’s friendship was as bad as it was, I’m still grateful that it happened. It taught me so many valuable lessons, it just sucks that it came at my expense.
The following person is one I debated on talking about extensively over the past year. This person is J and is someone who taught me probably the most significant lesson of all; people can lie for absolutely no reason. J lied to me in such a disgusting way, and I never and will never forgive them for it. Our fallout happened quite a while ago, several years ago from now. I was always told that time heals all wounds but sometimes it doesn’t, it just makes you forget they’re there.
The subsequent influential person, C, in my life, is actually quite bland. C and I had known each other for a long time but didn’t become close until recent years. Because of this, I viewed this person as a valuable and great-quality friend. I went about life with this view of them for years, but in the past year, I decided to really dissect our friendship which led me to this startling revelation. C wasn’t a best friend; they weren’t even a great friend either. What I mean by this is that C wasn’t good at being a good friend, they were just slightly above average. Because of this, it seems kind of contradictory to talk about them here, right? But that’s not the case, C taught me that not everyone is either an acquaintance friend or best friend, you can have average friends and that’s totally okay. I’m not sure if any of this made any sense but I hope it made you realize what it made me realize.
The final important person in my life I’ll be talking about here is F. F hurt me in a way I didn’t think was possible, and while I can only assume, I think I hurt them in a similar way as well. I grieved this friendship for a long time, probably longer than I should’ve. They taught me the most recent important life lesson in my life at this point, life can really really suck sometimes. That’s it. That’s the lesson. You’re going to go through some rough patches in life and there’s not much, if anything at all, you can do about it. You just need to power through until it’s over, which can take quite a while I know. But it’ll end one day, maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but one day, and that’s something to look forward to.
Each of these people taught me such invaluable lessons, and there are so many other influential people in my life that I couldn’t discuss here so shout out to them. I regret a lot that’s happened in my life, but I’m also strangely grateful for it all too. I’ve learned so much, and I’m only 18. I can’t even imagine what else I’ll learn from this point.
I don’t know, this was a weird and long tangent that probably doesn’t matter to you. But that’s not the point of this. This is my goodbye to high school. The final goodbye to my childhood. This is so terrifying and exciting, and I hate it but love it. I feel so contradicted that I don’t know what I want to do or how I really feel. But that doesn’t matter.
The final lesson I’ll leave you with is something so obvious yet so forgettable. Life moves on, time moves on. Even if today is the absolute worst day of your life, tomorrow is always there. And even if tomorrow is far worse than you thought it’d be, there’s always the day after and the next day. So, enjoy the beautiful times of life happening now; as this beginning of the article outlined, never forget to stop and smell the roses. But if there are only bad times now, there’s always tomorrow, and maybe the roses will be better then.
