Do National Girlfriend/Boyfriend Day posts on Snapchat make you feel extra lonely? If so, you are NOT ALONE. Many people view relationships as something to obtain as soon as possible, predominantly in high school, simply because of how common they are. This is not to say that everyone wants to be in a relationship, but those who do may feel pressured because of the stigma surrounding them. Relationships are praised because they make people feel special. People who may not realize their worth usually seek relationships for validation, which may create an unhealthy dependence.

  It’s unacceptable to expect 15–17-year-olds to find the one among hundreds that makes them happier than anything and anyone else. If you are lucky enough to find that person in high school, all power to you, but it shouldn’t be an expectation. Teenagers in high school are already swamped with the stress of classes, college, and careers. There’s no need to add the additional pressure of figuring out romantic interests and standards on top of all that previously established pressure, which will likely persist throughout the four years of high school. Frankly, the tension that immerses itself in teens’ lives due to relationship expectations is distracting and upsetting for both single people and those in relationships.

To explore this issue further, we talked to some fellow students to see if other people felt the same pressure we did. We spoke with a person who has recently gone through a breakup and who will be hereinafter referred to as “AFC,” standing for “Anonymous Former Couple.” We asked them if they had felt the same pressure we had regarding relationships and their response was a resounding “yes.” “[When] I start to like someone, all my friends push it so much when I’m still not even sure if they are the right person…. Then once I’m in the relationship…. [I feel] stuck with a person that’s not right for me.” AFC outlined an experience that we hadn’t considered but is definitely a huge part of the scholastic experience as a whole. This is a common occurrence that probably almost everyone goes through: the pressure to just jump into a relationship – or at least attempt to – even when you’re not 100% sure of how you feel about the person.

We also talked to another student on this topic, they will be referred to as “AS”, standing for Anonymous Single. When asking them the same question we had asked AFC regarding feeling pressured to be in a relationship, they also agreed – but further explained that the primary sources of such pressure originated from their parents and peers. Additionally, we asked if they felt relationships were overprioritized and received another emphatic yes.  In addition to friends and peers, parents/family members tend to be another root of pressure to be in a relationship.

Pressure to be in a relationship seems to come from all directions when in high school. Plus being surrounded by couples definitely intensifies the feeling. However, that’s not to say that we should do a 180 and suddenly hate all relationships around us or avoid them. If you find someone who genuinely makes you happy and vice versa – in addition to being healthy – and there’s no valid reason not to be in a relationship with them; then why not? Just remember that the primary reason why you should be in a relationship is because you (and the other person as well) want to. Not for any other external reason.

It should only come from within, and nowhere else.

References:

• Interviews from couples: AC1, AC2, and Kayla Rogers
• Interviews from former couples: AFC1, and AFC2
• Interviews from singles: AS1, AS2, and AS3