Warning: Contains Spoilers for “The Batman”

I’ve never been the biggest DC universe fan. It’s always been too dark, in a way that makes me uncomfortable. But the Christopher Nolan Batman trilogy is as important to my family as the Burn Book is to Regina George. I’ve seen “The Dark Knight” more than four times, which is the most I’ve ever seen any movie ever, so I know a fair bit about movie iterations of Batman. Plus, I’ve seen all the “Twilight” movies, so who better to review the new Batman movie?

I did like it, mostly. The overall goal of a dark murder mystery was super cool. It was a fresh take on the tired crime-fighting orphan movie we’ve seen since the 1960s. I also appreciate the brand-new Gotham. Most Batman movies just mashed up Chicago and New York City before calling it a day. Matt Reeves created a grimy city with a distinct feeling of unease that made the movie feel mostly fictitious, but with an element of truth. It felt real enough to not break the immersion, but it was still an exaggeration of American cities.

My favorite elements were the cats. Catwoman being a cat person was phenomenal, no matter how small a detail it was. Bruce looking down to see five cats climbing around him, looking for food, is something that has stuck with me more than Gil Colson’s riddles. I really liked the idea of Selina taking every single stray cat in that she could.

Speaking of Gil Colson, I thought his name was Phil Coulson for way too long. Only upon looking it up did I realize that DC couldn’t get sued by Marvel because his name is NOT Phil Coulson. But the intense riddle scene felt like a Saw movie, and I despise the Saw movies. Annika’s video after she had been kidnapped was also extremely disturbing and I wonder how much of a wakeup call that is for Marvel fans. Some people didn’t realize exactly how much further DC movies are able to go, but they sure do now. Batman is no longer your grandparents’ superhero.

I also didn’t really like the writing. The dialogue was cheesy and unnatural, no matter how good the actors are (Robert Pattinson IS a good actor.  I will die on this hill.)  The way people moved was unnatural and the fight choreography was clunky. Most of the “cool guy” lines came across as edgy for the sake of being edgy.

“The Batman” is the highest grossing movie of 2022, but that is probably because it’s the first major studio film to come out so far. It has a Rotten Tomatoes score of 85% and an audience score of 87%. Common complaints are that the ideas are tired, the characters old, and that the movie was too dark. Some classmates agree, saying that this was the “emo-est Batman yet” and that it was too long for the payoff. However, some people like the new direction. Some say that Robert Pattinson delivered a riveting performance, which is something that I can agree with.

Overall, “The Batman” was a 4/10 from me. It was a fun experience, but I will never watch it again. The actors were great, and I really did enjoy parts of it, but not enough. It’s overhyped and kind of a dissatisfying take on the character, despite the three-hour runtime.